Love

Just had to write about how much I adore my three little boys. Having boys is so F-U-N! They are silly, funny, adoring, inquisitive and rough all at once. I love them now, I cant wait til they can all play, when they are teens and all grown up. They are amazing. I know I say I want a girl...and I still do...but NOTHING compares to these three little boys. They are perfect...perfect for me...

Baby Bunching

What is Baby Bunching?

Baby Bunching is two years of pregnancy and back-to-back infants and toddlers with nary a break for you. Baby Bunching means chaos for you, and your little twiblings. No worries, they become good friends as a result of your bunching strategy. You will become strong, creative, organized, calm and at peace with your new lifestyle without even realizing it.


Thank you babybunching.com for explaining that to me. Apparently that is what it's called. I thought it was called crazy, insane, out of your mind. But no, there is an actual term for the chaos that is my life. There are days when Matt and I want to lose it. Cleaning up dinner is a disaster, taking kids in and out of the car is exhausting bath time is hard and bedtime is a delight. But honestly, I would not have done this any other way. The connection, the closeness, the bond I see forming between the boys is absolutely incredible.

Lukas and Jakob build forts in their closet on the weekend. They hug and kiss when coming home from school. They are one another's best friend. 

Zackary and Jakob giggle and crawl around the house like two little snakes. Zackary's eyes light up when he sees Jake. Jake greets Zackary in his crib each morning to sing songs out of Zackary's mouth. 

Lukas feels he is Zackary's protector. He will do anything to keep his baby safe. He loves to feed, hold or just comfort Zackary. He wins the award for #1 big brother. Zackary crawls to Luke and squeals to him in thanks for his toys and Luke's attention.

They are all in this together. They want to be together to play, fight, wrestle, giggle...whatever. I can only imagine what the years ahead hold for us. While this is difficult road..I love it. The teamwork Matt and I have together makes it work...us work...our family work.

Fall is here!

I adore apple picking! It is my most favorite thing about fall. It is such a low key activity and the boys have such a great time. The weather was perfect for it today and we had a blast. The boys were able to use the big long stick to pick the apples, climb the trees and just run around. I have always said if I could go back and live in any time period...it would be during the "prairie days. I would have loved to live on a farm. It seems far fetched for me, but its true. Maybe thats why I love apple picking so much?

M-O-M

Spells Mom. Lukas is fully aware of this and surprised me today by making me a "special note". I was shocked and ecstatic that my little baby could write mom. He made my day, my year, my life as a parent. This is what it's all about!

Dear Self..

Dear Self,

Today you made the decision to drop grad school and really focus on your family. This was NOT an easy decision for you but you came to it after much thought and consideration. Look at your last blog post; the anxiety was already present. AND THEN...the accident happened. Your poor little baby boy was taken by ambulance to the hospital with a bad head wound. Minutes before that you were discussing with a neighbor how you were at a crossroads and waiting for a sign for what to do with your future. Then BAM, your kid was screaming...there was blood... and as you ran to get him you knew Lukas and your two little guys are all that matter. Thats when the game plan changed.

You can do everything but how well can you do everything? When you have so much on your plate it is almost impossible to do it all well. You know you wont let your kids suffer and you know you'll still kick butt at your job and grad school...so what loses out on your attention????
YOU!
You lose out on your health and stress will take over. While I believe you thrive on stress it is also taking a toll on your health (remember the 4 months of bedrest this past year???). If you are not happy with yourself it will also take a toll on your marriage. The next 2 years would have put a burden on Matt and your own health...not a good thing. In addition, you look forward to the days of baseball, soccer, basketball, art school...whatever it is the boys will enjoy...and if you are an administrator you will miss those. You dont want your kids to come home to an empty house or be stuck at before and after school for hours. You had three little ones because you love children, your children. You are a darn good reading specialist and making a major impact on those hormonal non-readers. Stick to what you know, do it well, be the change you want to see. But most of all be an extraordinary mom and wife. Love your kids and your husband...dont take them for granted. 

Yesterday my fortune cookie read...Be happy, stop trying to make happiness! 

Self this is a reminder of how you came to your choice. When you regret it, look back and read this. And remember you are only 28...you have lots ahead of you and time to pursue your career later. For now, BE HAPPY!

Enjoying the Air & Water show...

And here we go again...

....trying to figure out a balance between work and family. I have a major problem and the problem is I LOVE MY JOB and I LOVE MY FAMILY. I want to put every ounce of myself into each of these things and that is absolutely impossible. I just wish there were so many more hours in the day or that Lukas, Jakob and Zackary could hang out in my classroom all day everyday with me! (Future idea for the Kristin Samuels Charter School..onsite staff daycare.)

I was at school all day today LOVING creating Institute Day presentations, letters for my upcoming family literacy nights and lesson planning for my classroom. Each time I looked up at the pictures of my munchkins my heart ached for them but the minute I focused on how to get children to love reading, I was completely lost in my work.

I think this is a battle I will face my entire life. I always find things I love and I put my all into them. One thing I am trying to do this year is leave work at work so when I am home I can completely focus on my kids. So many new things this year to look forward to at work..union rep, family literacy night, coaching cheerleading (say what?), social committee chair and starting my type 75 graduate program...but none of those compare to being the mommy to Luke, Jake and Zack...that is my most important job.

Go Cubs Go!

Matt and I were able to share the special experience of the Chicago Cubs with Lukas and Jakob. It was so memorable. I know it will be one of Lukas' memories but not likely Jakob's. We had a blast sitting in the seats eating peanuts and cotton candy. It was so wonderful sharing in something we both love with our boys. I know we will have many more experiences similar to this and cant wait to share them with all three boys. I so enjoy doing special things with the boys!!

Life would be soooo boring if...

we didn't have our three little guys to keep us busy!

Yesterday Matt and I celebrated our 5th wedding anniversary. 5 years of absolute happiness and craziness. Not bad crazy but good crazy; crazy busy. We spent the day on a boat and then had a lovely dinner outside. Matt gave me 2 dozen roses, my anniversary band and a very sweet poem. In my card he reminded me that in 5 years..I have been pregnant each of the years at some point, we have owned 5 cars, 2 homes, I have earned a degree and we have loved each other each and every day. That is what really counts. I could not be happier in my life. It is a crazy, overwhelming life but I am sharing it with a man who respects, cherishes and loves me...what else do I need? 

Throughout our special day along together, we kept saying, "this is what life would be like without the boys." While it was relaxing and quiet. It was boring and just didn't feel "right". (well sleeping in and laying in bed til 10 felt, perfect) but I don't think I could do that everyday. I would be bored! We don't get to be alone often for the day and cherish it when we do!

Day on the boat

Favorite wine from Mom and Dad

Making me laugh:)

My beautiful flowers!

SAHM's have it rough

While I am SupER excited to be staying home this summer with nothing to do but take care of my 3 most favorite boys...I am realizing this is going to be harder than my "other" job!

Tomorrow we have a great day planned...
Me working out at the gym and then getting ready while the boys are at Kid's Town having a blast, off to Lukas' swimming lessons and then meeting friends at Randall Oaks for a picnic and petting zoo play date. Sounds like no biggie whatsoever...until the packing for a 4 month old, 2 year old and almost 4 year old began....and lasted a good hour and a half....

I packed a lunch for myself (no carbs), Lukas' lunch box, Jake's lunch box. snacks for Kid's Town, a very cool personalized water bottle for both Kid's Town and our play date, a diaper bag for Kid's Town and one for our play date (also had to make sure there were enough size 4 and size 2 diapers and wipes in it), Lukas' towel and sunscreen for swim lessons, a change of clothes for each kid incase...there is no "incase"...for the accident that will happen, my clothes and supplies to shower and get ready at the gym, the sit and stand stroller for when we are at swimming lessons, the jogging stroller for Randall Oaks, toys to occupy Jake during swimming lessons, enough burp clothes for our the little guy who can't keep anything down, enough bottles for that same little man.....

and that's it! No biggie, right?

I just needed this is writing for the end of the summer when I've got this routine down! I'll have the lunch boxes, 2 diaper bags, change of clothes bag, my gym bag, and bottle bag in a nice, perfect, organized rotation in a few weeks. But until then...my head is spinning!

Shout out to one damn good husband...

50/50...that is what our marriage is all about. Matt is one darn good dad and husband. When it comes to raising the boys he does 1/2 of all the work and on some days, it is even more. He loves them with all his heart, plays with them no matter what and they know they are loved by their dad. He helps make dinner, clean up, do laundry, take care of the outside...I could go on and on. Everyone says how much I should appreciate him and I know they are right. 

So here you go...

He is one amazing guy and I am so lucky to have him...well not lucky but I think deserving and we make a great team!

You need team work with these crazy boys!

Dad and his guys!

SIGH....

First 2 days back at work.
First day being a working mom of three.
First 2 days of trying to run a household AND be an excellent teacher AND be a great mom AND get in shape.
First 2 days of an extremely fulfilling yet stressful life.
I feel like my plate is full. My plate is full and there is no room for one more thing but at the same time my plate is full of things I love. I have all I've wanted....I need to keep reminding myself of this when Im up at 4 in the morning to get ready and get everyone out the the door..then on to a full day of work...back home to play with and enjoy my own boys...to the gym to get healthy and finally passing out in my bed. What more could I want????

SAHM

Today I experienced it for the first time as a mother of 3....and I loved it! I always say I could never stay home, I love my job too much! But today after feeling like garbage for the past 7 months...I was me again and loved being a mom to 3 little boys all day with no work or worries. I mean laundry still had to get done, the house picked up and meals made but it was awesome! We had a play date in the morning, lunch, naps and laundry, and then played til Dad got home! I wonder if I could do this everyday? This summer ill be able to tell. I haven't really had a "normal" summer as a teacher mom. Luke's first summer I did my grad school practicum, the ne t summer I had a brand new infant, and last summer I was pregnant and dealing with high blood pressure. This summer will be me and my 3 boys..nothing else.

One thing I have figured out is why SAHM s like to cook...tonight it was 20 minutes of quiet while Matt played with the boys...while I loved today, that felt good too.

Feeling beyond lucky to be me!

I swore I would never...

Bribe my child with candy...
Give in to a whining child...
Like going to work when I had kids...
Let my kids watch movies in the car...
Let my kids watch TV so I can just clean up the kitchen...
Let my baby sleep in his carseat so I don't wake him up and can get things done...
Talk on my cell phone when driving with my kids...
Organize "play dates"...oh I hate that word:)...
Gossip with the other stay-at-home moms on the corner about the neighbors (who cares?)
Let my kid drink juice...
Let my child sleep in my bed so I can get a little extra sleep...
And the list goes on and on...

But these are things you do when you are a mom. You compromise your beliefs so you can survive and be happy. I'm learning this slowly but surely....

Change...

is good and scary. Within 2 weeks (I hoping more like within 2 days) our little Zotto is going to enter or world. Things that are about to change:

1. We are both about to become sleep deprived
2. We no longer have enough arms to carry all our kids
3. The Mazda will be taken nowhere as a family (not enough room)
4. Jake becomes the middle child
5. We are buying double the diapers and wipes
6. We go from man-to-man to zone defense
7. I will be no help to our family for about a week while recovering...oh wait, that has been the case for the last 13 weeks:)
8. A shopping cart will not fit all our kids
9. We will have 3 sons, yes 3!!!!
10. The smell of a brand new baby will fill our home!

We are quickly approaching the end. Bring on the change:)

Anxious and Excited

Two emotions that my heart are filled with today. One would think after 13 weeks of bed rest I would have it all figured out but that is SOOO not the case! With the knowledge that Zackary is going to enter our lives sooner than later, I am filled with anxiety and excitement. I am overwhelmed with the excitement that he is going to add more love in our family. He is going to be another playmate for our boys. We will get 3 sets of goodnight hugs and kisses and 3 sweet smiles when we wake up. But at the same time, we have 3 boys to take care of. That is something to get anxious about.